He’s a Grammy-nominated producer, a TikTok star and a doting friend of one of the biggest stars in the world.
But Benny Blanco — who has been dating Selena Gomez since 2023 — has no interest in him. Growing up in Virginia, “I always felt very confident,” says Blanco, 36, who has produced hits for Ed Sheeran and Lana Del Rey. “My mother would say, ‘You’re the best,’ and my brother was always very nice to me. He always paved the way, and always made sure people were nice to me. “It’s nice.”
His family still keeps him grounded, and with his self-deprecating sense of humor and fashion sense (“I love high heels!”), Blanco happily redefines masculinity while embracing chivalry.
He insists that when it comes to matters of the heart, there should be no games. “I [still] Do your best at every appointment. This doesn’t mean spending your entire bank account. “It means being attentive and listening.”
Blanco loves gathering loved ones for themed dinner parties at his Los Angeles-area home (read on for the best hosting tips!) Pickles, to name a few).
Despite his tremendous success, Blanco enjoys the “simple” things the most.
“I’m a real morning person,” he says. “It’s my favorite time to spend with Seal, because we wake up so early. It’s like our moment before the rest of the world wakes up.” “I have a true best friend with whom I can do everything in the world, and every day is the best day of my life.”
Custom designer suit by Chloe B. Photo: Sam Kim.
Sam Kim
1. Learn how to cook
Even if you’re terrible at cooking, [your partner will] You like it because you did it. Ask your partner what he wants to eat. Don’t try to cook them what you want to eat. If you don’t know how to cook it – learn it.
If you don’t know how to learn it, get it from Postmates, put it on a plate and pretend you cooked it. No, lying is bad! We never lie. Especially if you’re a man, we suck. No one should even look at us. Try to be chivalrous: tell her how beautiful she is. Equestrianism is not dead.
[I learned how to] Recreate Taco Bell meat. I’ve practiced a lot, and I think they’re indistinguishable now if you put them side by side. There are many things you need to do. Part of the meat is kind of mixed. It’s gross, but it’s delicious. I do everything from scratch.
2. First dates should be experiences
Whatever the date, you want your partner to walk away and say, “Oh my God, I’m calling all my friends. This was the craziest thing. We were on the back of a flying tractor trailer and he spun me out.” “…” It has to be something crazy because you want to make an impression. This person is going out on a bunch of first dates, and you need to secure your spot.
I try to create a moment in time because everyone is busy, everyone has a lot of work to do, and everyone is very stressed. If we can sit down and forget everything for one to four hours — if it’s a good date, five hours — then things are good. Don’t leave a date sometimes and say, “Oh my God, what the hell? Time just flew by!”
I will do my best at every appointment. We do our best for each other. One time Ciel said, “Oh, I want to take you on a date.” We traveled somewhere and she rented an entire vegetable garden for me. She also likes something very simple. For Valentine’s Day, I bought her a Taco Bell, made her nachos at the movie theater, and found her favorite Texas pickles and fried them for her. then [I had] All her candy and Hot Cheetos.
This doesn’t mean spending your entire bank account. The number one thing you need to do on a date is to just listen to what the person says. Don’t talk about yourself all the time. Nobody cares.
Chloe B Styling Custom Shirt. Photo: Sam Kim.
Sam Kim
3. Dress with confidence
If you’re wearing the most expensive thing that just came out, you’re not fashionable. You’re just someone spending their money. For me, it’s all about the highs and lows. I might pair a nice vintage Prada jacket with something I found at Melrose Trading Post for $10.
I think the best thing is to mix it up and be yourself. If you look like yourself in your clothes, you will feel more confident. For me, I like to wear a lot of vintage clothes. Some people look really good with new clothes. Find your path and shake it. Don’t try to be someone else.
Another thrift find that I’m really proud of is this little pink Dora the Explorer sweater. He’s so cute. It’s a pink sweater – I think it’s for a baby – and I love it. Makes me feel sexy.
I like to share clothes [with my partner]. It’s interchangeable. Well, except for some capes and stuff. It is very difficult to get up and down. I won’t even do that. But I don’t mind wearing a dress if it’s pretty. I have a lot of heels. I love heels. Women’s shoes are very good. Gentlemen wear women’s heels. I don’t know – this guy knows.
4. Self-care is a must
No bad smell. Do all the things. I really think it’s important to have good skin. I have a facialist and she has changed my life. I do everything you say. Her name is Lindsey and she works at Artisan of Skin. Wow, I just had it delivered: can I get a discount?
I also don’t believe in always shampooing or conditioning your hair. I’m very clean, but I don’t shower every day. Some people I know shower two to three times a day, but I feel like the oils on your skin don’t have enough time to rejuvenate and get juicy.
I like to use a mixture. I want to smell [like] Tobacco, but also like cotton candy. I want there to be a scent as I walk by. I want it to smell a little masculine, a little feminine – I’m definitely leaning towards more femininity in every sense of the word.
Custom shorts and shirt design by Chloe B. Photo: Sam Kim.
Sam Kim
5. Welcome everyone into your home (within reason)
I love [to host]. It’s very fun. I love being hosted. [For a] For a dinner party, you want to invite people who don’t necessarily know each other. You want some people to mingle, to meet some people who shouldn’t be meeting.
I like to mix up friend groups. I want someone who writes songs sitting next to an 80-year-old florist. I believe age is just a number. I want a 3-year-old to sit next to a scientist and just listen to what they’re talking about because I know it’s going to be crazy—.
You want to think about a really broad menu that’s something everyone will love. I usually create a group topic and say, “Hey, what’s everyone feeling? Let’s do this.” We make the topics and everyone will cook the topic. You want the right drinks. You want the right music.
I want to create a little world. One of my friends is an amazing Vietnamese cook. We will have a dinner party here and put small wooden baskets and banana leaves on the floor. Everyone wants to escape to a new place.
6. Treat your mother like a queen
My mom is my best friend. Every Sunday we go to the farmers market. I cook her lunch, we swim, we talk about things. She sends me stuff and says, “Do you think this is true?” “I don’t even know who these two people are we’re talking about,” I say.
My mother loves flowers. On Mother’s Day, I get her the same thing every year: a new orchid. She’s so good at taking care of them that before she moved to Los Angeles, she had a room with about 25 of them because I would give them to her every year and she would keep them and they would never die.
Shirt: Bud; Chloe B Styling Custom Pants. Photo: Sam Kim.
Sam Kim
7. Gift giving is an art
Don’t buy a gift that everyone will buy. For me, the best way to do this is to get creative, listen to something they said in the past and bring it back as a memory.
Most of my gifts are handmade. Let’s say you had the best night at Six Flags and this was your first date. Save that ticket and then frame it and give it to them on their birthday and say, “Oh, that was our first date.” Small, simple gestures go a long way.
The first time Ciel and I were going to be long distance for a while, I made a teddy bear when I squeezed his hand. He said, “I miss you so much. You’ll be fine. I’ll see.” You when I get back.” She’s very good at gifting. She does the same thing as me: most of the gifts we make are for each other.
8. Say no to ghosting
Totally ghosting someone – I’ve never done that. You have to be a demon to be able to completely ghost someone. Shadows mean! A man should not.
I completely understand if you go out on a date and the guy is completely creepy – you should totally dump him. But I don’t want to ghost anyone. I always think that when I do something like that, I’ll think of my mom and be like, “Oh, I want to treat this person how I treat my mom and how I want someone to treat them.” My mom.”
