We’re all just tourists when it comes to someone else’s pain. This should not be taken as a criticism of the importance of compassion and empathy. On the contrary, it seems more important now than ever. But there are limits to how far we can put ourselves in someone else’s shoes. To be a witness, to be an ally, to just be a shoulder to cry on – these are the things that connect us and make us human, but everyone has a different emotional language built on years of experience that we can cushion from the blows of the world. But never speak fully. This truth is at the core of Jesse Eisenberg’s remarkable “Real Pain,” the story of two cousins who travel to a place where the human race suffers unspeakable pain while battling their own personal demons. On the surface, it’s an oil-and-water story about two men who are practically brothers but have lived markedly different lives – one a gushing fountain of emotions, the other experiencing more conventional modes of existence. Both men want to be like the other. And Eisenberg’s film poignantly and brilliantly understands how they can’t.
David (Eisenberg) and Benji (Kieran Culkin) book a trip to Poland to learn about how the Holocaust affected the region by visiting their grandmother’s hometown. One of the survivors, Grandma has recently passed away, leaving her best friend Benji in one of those emotionally drifting chapters we all encounter at various points in our lives. The cousins, so close in age that they’re practically brothers, join a tour group led by James (Will Sharp), who also includes four other travelers played by Jennifer Grey, Kurt Egewan, Lisa Sadovi, and Daniel Oreskes. Everyone here feels like they were there before arriving in Poland and will go back to their lives when the tour is over. One of the many wonderful things about Eisenberg’s excellent script is that he refuses to use the other tourists as emotional pawns. There is a much worse version of this movie that causes problems for each member of the tour that Benji or David must solve. However, it’s not just a backdrop either, it enhances the overall authenticity of the piece.
Most people won’t notice because they’ll be so impressed by what Emmy Award winner Culkin does in this movie. In one of the best shows of 2024, he plays a guy we all know (or have known at some point in our lives): the friend or relative we can’t stand under certain circumstances and yet secretly want to be more like. At its worst. Culkin is so raw and organic, he draws Benjy in a way that never seems calculated. Despite being watched for hours on Succession, the actor almost instantly melts into the role, and we believe every choice he makes. He finds a way to convey an inner monologue that Benjy may not fully understand but comes out through his eyes, body language, and substance.
What really elevates “A Real Pain” is that writer/director Eisenberg never pities Benjy, but he doesn’t put him on a pedestal either. It’s a pain in the ass. But he’s also not really wrong when he has an emotional outburst over being upset about taking a train to a concentration camp or attacks James for spitting facts instead of actually communicating with the locals in the towns they visit. This scene is a truly remarkable scene, a moment that encapsulates the complexity of Benjy’s emotionally raw existence. No one had ever criticized the likeable and knowledgeable James, making it easy to view Benjy as a troublemaker, but he was only honest about his emotional response to his surroundings. Where is the shame in that? Why are so few of us willing to express those difficult feelings? Isn’t burying them the real cause of pain?
Culkin’s performance will be the touchstone of adoration for this film, but Eisenberg’s work as a director and writer should not be overlooked. He uses music beautifully and carefully, memorably dropping his score from the mix during the tour of a concentration camp, a place where silence says so much more. He crafts the relatively simple story of his film perfectly, condensing it into a 90-minute production that doesn’t have any fat but also feels completely finished. He depicts Poland with respect and admiration, never succumbing to the traveling American approach that can bog down a film like this. Every time “Real Pain” threatens to become raw or sentimental, Eisenberg’s choices cement it.
This grounding is what makes it so strong. Ultimately, it’s about two people who drifted apart as their lives went in different directions. But they still love each other. You can feel it in every frame. David has a wife and child at home that he misses, but he fears that Benjy will become lonely again, even though he is the first person to make friends in any new place, and someone who is genuinely interested and involved in other people’s stories. In just 90 minutes, we get to know David and Benji as if they were our friends or cousins. Even if we can’t fully feel their emotions, we see elements of our own in them. It is a powerful feeling to witness art that reminds us that all aspects of our existence are valuable, especially our pain.
