Once is a coincidence, twice is a coincidence, but three times is a pattern. Now that we have three truly great LaLaPaRuZas on the RuPaul-hosted editions of Drag Race, I think we can confidently say that this new format, held at the end of the season and with the winners ahead of the losers, has made this a challenge we can safely look forward to Every season. This edition of RuPaul’s Drag Race Global All Stars, like Season 16 before it, gives eliminated queens a chance to shine, which I think is more important than ever after fans overwhelmingly felt like non-RuGirls got short shrift this season.
Fortunately, this episode does them great justice. Basically, everyone gets a moment to shine, even if they lose, and some queens really thrive in their Rudemption story arcs. Our final heroine is positively glowing by the end of the final lip sync, a moment of triumph that she wishes all of these international stars would have had all season long. This episode is one of the best, if not the best, episode of Global All Stars, and the only episode I can imagine wanting to rewatch anytime soon.
We start with our top four — Alyssa Edwards, Katie Scott Close, Queen Kong, and Nehelenia, in case you forgot — reuniting with the eliminated queens in the workroom. Ru joins them to reveal that this week we’ll be getting the Klarna Global Lip Sync LaLaPaRuZa Smackdown. (Yes, it’s sponsored by Klarna. It’s so ridiculous.) The winner not only takes home the title of Global Lip Sync Assassin, but also $50,000. Not too shabby!
Unlike other LaLaPaRuZas songs we’ve seen this year, this one goes back to All Stars 4’s roots in song selection: all RuPaul tracks. Fortunately, it’s a great lineup: “ASMR Lover” (Rue’s best song, Arguing with the Wall), “Call Me Mother”, “Cha Cha Bitch”, “Jealous of My Boogie”, “Just What They Want”, and “Wear It well”. I would say a really good variety of his discography, both in terms of eras and styles of music. I know there are usually some groans when all the songs are for Roo, but he got the pop!
The entire cast is reunited this week for LaLaPaRuZa, but only all of the eliminated stars are competing Credit: Courtesy World of Wonder
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Vanity Vain is chosen first by the wheel during LaLaPaRuZa, giving her the opportunity to choose her opponent. Considering that Vanity has won four lip-syncs this season alone, anyone who fights her risks facing a literal lip-sync chainsaw. Vanity chooses to lip-sync with someone she’s already beaten: Eva Le Coyne. The Filipino queen chooses “Just What They Want,” which both Nehellenia and Vanity herself note is the hardest of all. It soon becomes clear why Vanity thinks this: she doesn’t know the words. She has a cute trick of using her braid as a whip, which she does more than Eva, but Eva has memorized the words perfectly. It’s a bit annoying when Eva wins, and it’s more a victory for her strategy than anything else.
Soa de Muse is thrust into action next, and she wants to fight. She chose Tessa Testicle, who was a lip-sync killer on her original season of Drag Race Germany. Tessa chooses “ASMR Lover” (Flair), and everyone in the workroom puts their money on Tessa to win – except Quinn. While Quinn has definitely had a rough adjustment this season, one really positive line has been her support of Soa as a new sister. She’s got faith, and it turns out she’s doing very well.
For the first part of the lip sync, it actually looks like Tessa might win, but then Tessa misses the drop. Soa takes this mistake and runs with it, building momentum and stealing the show. She wins, and this officially marks the end of Tessa’s run for the season. It was a good idea! But as a Sawa stan from Episode 1, I’m thrilled to see her advance to the next round.
Athena Lykes, our first eliminated queen, will be chosen next, and she wants to face my “Greek sister Pythia.” Kitty makes a sarcastic remark about making room on the couch for Bethea right away — because she really can’t help herself, I guess — but Bethea gives herself any advantage she can by choosing “Jealous of My Boogie” as her lip-sync song. Her reasoning is that it’s the least dance-focused (ironic considering the name), and she actually does a decent job! However, Athens’ victory remains clear; She is a captivating performer! Athena moves on, while Pythia joins those in the workroom.
Pythia chooses from the remaining RuPaul songs to match LaLaPaRuZa Credit: Courtesy World of Wonder
Gala Farrow vs. Miranda Liberão is our final preliminary bout, and this is where things start to get a little messy. Gala chose “Cha Cha Bitch” for this battle of Latin American queens, and you can immediately see how much fun this season’s lip-sync would have been if the non-English language selections had been more widely implemented. Gala is my choice all the time, until the end, when she loses her wig. Miranda, like the queens in the workroom and me, seemed to think that losing this wig would cost a party, especially since Miranda did so well.
But no, Miranda has been eliminated from LaLaPaRuZa, and I have to look at this with suspicion. My doubts only increase when Gala goes through her second round as well. This battle is against Eva, who chooses “Call Me Mother” as her song – once again betting on knowing the words better than her opponent. Quinn confidently predicts that Eva will win based on this alone, claiming that Eva already knows that Gala doesn’t know words.
So this is where I have my only major issues with this episode. Eva won over Vanity because Eva knows the words better, despite her very muted lip sync performance. Gala beat Miranda because, despite losing her wig, she pulled off some impressive moves. Now Gala is ahead of Eva, even though she doesn’t know the words, because she moves better. This is especially puzzling because Eva’s lip-sync performance against Gala was actually better, and Vanity knew the lyrics to her song better than Gala knew hers. There are no fixed standards here other than “it’s okay because you’re a party.” Which is a bad way to judge LaLaPaRuZa, as much as I love Gala!
Anyway, Soa joined Gala for the final lip sync, but that was only after one hell of a fight. This lip sync between Athena and Sawa gets my vote for best of the night. They both dance to the song “U Wear It Well”. In one particularly disturbing moment, the two go toe-to-toe, taking the main stage together in unison. It’s amazing. Honestly, I would have put them in the final lip sync, like Alyssa does. In the end Sawa won, but Athena must be very proud. This lip sync more than makes up for getting rid of it first.
Soa de Muse’s breathtaking final moment in her “The Beginning” lip sync makes it perfect for LaLaPaRuZa Winner: Courtesy World of Wonder
We have reached the end! It’s Soa vs. Gala is in for the final lip sync, and the song is preset: it’s “The Beginning.” Or, if I’m quoting my notes: “It’s the beginning, hell yeah.” You guys, I love “The Beginning”. It’s one of Ru’s best songs, having previously only appeared in the final three of Season 5’s lip syncs that don’t mean anything. It’s absolutely amazing to see her back in this climatic battle, and Gala and Soa pull it off more than wonderfully.
In fact, Gala gives her best performance here, showing more control while still dancing intensely. I actually get my money from her, despite her generally inconsistent performances in other lip-syncs, simply because Ru seems so interested in her. But something happens at the end of the lip sync where Soa gets fully activated. The final moment, looking up to the sky and expressing true awe, is breathtaking. It makes it almost impossible to argue for anyone else at that moment. Sawa won.
Ru agrees, and Sawa is thrilled, taking home $50,000. It’s a satisfying ending for a queen who has excelled in her short time this season, but has never felt like a real threat going forward thanks to the plethora of design challenges. Even if she hadn’t been taken out when she was, I don’t think she would have been able to puncture the RuGirl-focused nature of this season. But at this moment, all eyes are on Sawa, and she is incredibly deserving of the win. I’m very excited about it, and I hope you release it to all kinds of international bookings next.
As a nice final note, Klarna is offering a $1,000 tip to all the other eliminated queens. That’s a nice gesture, but it doesn’t dispel the feeling that every episode of this season should have felt like this. Watching the other queens lose their minds over Soa and Gala’s final lip sync gives the feeling I wish we had in the last ten episodes; Pure joy to see this amazing group of queens succeed on the world stage. Unfortunately, it wasn’t meant to be. But in the last moment of that lip sync, as Sawa stared up at the sky, it was as if she was imagining that future. It’s as if she’s imagining that this is the beginning of this season, and that we’re working again. “Here we go, let’s start over,” RuPaul sings. “Miracles happen every day.”
Break down our final thoughts
✨ Klarna’s care in this episode is high camp. First, the idea of Klarna sponsoring LaLaPaRuZa is absolutely ridiculous. The one challenge where drag looks may be the least important – and it’s all you can go for! – Brought to you by a fintech company largely known for fashion shopping. And Miranda’s little spot later in the episode, when she’s too busy shopping on the app to return to the main stage? So ridiculous. Very stupid. I loved it.
✨ The queens discuss the different reasons they want to win money in the workroom: Miranda is going to be a mother! Vanity gets married! What seems to touch the queens most is Athena: she wants to help her brother transform. I hope she’s booked and busy for eons of appearances this season so she can do this!
✨ Although Drag Race hosted by Ru finally got the LaLaPaRuZa format right this year, credit must be given to Drag Race Canada for getting it right first in season four. We very much hope to see him again in Season 5!
✨ There is no guest judging this week on the panel with Ru, Michelle Visage, and Jamal Sims, but that means the episode’s Pit Crew actor, Manuel, will be sitting on stage! An honorary Bruno spot, if you will. In between shots of Manuel playing music, we get shots of him intensely studying lip syncing. We love the center king!
✨ Alyssa, Kitty, Quinn, and Nehelenia walk the runway for the hell of it before heading to the workroom to watch the lip sync. Alyssa looks amazing (I love that vintage look on her), Nehellenia’s outfit is the best, Kitty’s look is actually one of her best looks of the entire season (her outfits have leveled up in the last few weeks), and Kween is basically wearing another variant of her makeover look. I wouldn’t judge anyone too harshly for what they wear to sit on the couch for hours, but you’d think Quinn would have another dress to pull out for this.
✨ Here’s a wild stat: Pythia lip-synced five times during her two seasons of Drag Race. Three times she lip-synced to RuPaul songs. The other two times, she lip-synced to Celine Dion songs. Her one and only win? to “Call Me Mother”, which was actually her choice in this tournament. I would say she should have stuck with what was familiar, but I think Athena would have defeated her no matter what.
✨I’m glad that Global All Stars has been pulling things together a little in these last few episodes. More than anything, this installment feels like it should have been all along: a true celebration of these global stars and what makes them great. But we return to our final four acts next week – who do you think will take it all? I’m sticking with my prediction for Alyssa at this point, finally getting the third season 5 crown that eluded them with the loss of Roxxxy Andrews at All Stars 9. But we’ll see soon enough!
The RuPaul’s Drag Race Global All Stars finale will be available to stream next Friday at 3 a.m. EST on Paramount+ in the US and on Crave in Canada. We’ll be publishing the latest recap of the season exclusively here first in our newsletter, Wig!, and then on Xtra afterwards.
